The Ringgold Ghost

Here is something I wrote and I will be doing a spoken word of soon.

Ringgold Street, West Hartford, CT

I had an exciting walk the other night. I took one of our dogs, Nugget, for a long, brisk walk around our little city neighborhood just past midnight. We walked down the street and cut through a little wooded area then went down through the park behind it. The illumination was high as the moon was near-full in the sky. Since we’ve been at our flat on Oakwood Street, we often scout the area on walks.

The park stretches into a large grassy area right past the little woods. The grass in the park rolls for a spell to the end of a cul-de-sac that ends at a street named Ringgold. On Ringgold there is a cemetery, I’ve walked by it few times now, mostly in the day, and a couple of times past sunset. I hadn’t made it down on one of my night patrols yet.

Ringgold is a quiet street. It starts three or four blocks up from the cul-de-sac at a T intersection at Park Road which connects the main areas of West Hartford and Hartford proper. Park Road is only busy during business hours. On one side of Ringgold starting at the T intersection is a small city bank, two or three blocks of a quiet condominium community, a small street leading to a neighborhood of mostly three-story multi-flat homes, then a few well-kept old homes with lovely lawns, then ends at the cul-de-sac attached to the large grassy park.

On the other side of Ringold, across the street from the bank is an older still well-kept home. Down much that side of Ringgold the rest of the land is fenced off, like it and the house are one property. It’s an odd tract of land in the populated eastern parts of West Hartford. The space is well maintained but still retains a sense of old to it, like it remembers wilder days before the encroachment of city and suburb. Most of the land is a seasonally dry watershed with overgrown trees near a center drainage basin, like an old creek.

Near the basin grows one of the most beautiful willow trees I’ve ever seen. A few days earlier I properly introduced my son to the willow on one of our walks. I haven’t met a Willow of note since my childhood, I was excited to show him how cool the shaggy trees can be. We snuck through an opening in the fenceline to see what it felt like under its thick canopy of wisps. It was worth a little trespassing, it was safe. We snuck in through a gap in the chainlink where the property belonging to the house’s fence stops and a different one surrounding the cemetery begins. In a fenced area about a block wide, lies an old, unmarked cemetery. Its gravestones face toward the watershed basin away from view from Ringgold Street.

The cemetery is closely manicured, just grass and gravestones. At the center of the formation of fifty or so white stone grave markers is a tall statue of a cross. The gate to enter the cemetery is locked up without away to easily sneak in without jumping the fence. In-between the cemetery on the cul-de-sac next to the park is a small, deeply overgrown tract of land, its trees and plants look defensive and unwelcoming. Next to that is the cul-de-sac, then the grass that flows up a tall hill into the park I like to stride.

Nugget was behaving in a way I appreciated. He was alert but not overly curious, just the way I like my little patrols to go. With Dax, our older pup, I used to be able to walk around with him off the leash. We were a team and we acted as extensions of that team. I felt like Nugget and I were moving as a team, like we were using each other’s senses to detect and respond to the night around us. He’s a good pup. When we’re in tune, he’s a lot of fun to get to be around.

We moved through the park onto the cul-de-sac. I like to stay on the side with the cemetery. There isn’t a sidewalk on that side but I like to be off on my own. Doesn’t hurt that the dogs can get a good sniff of interesting things and they don’t piss on pretty landscaping.

The cemetery seemed still even though the nighttime critters were all a holler on the humid August air. All the stone was vibrant white under the Moon’s clear shine, contrasted by the dark lush green on midnight grass. The night blasted a beautiful chaotic harmony of sound. The cemetery always seems quiet, but that night it was the embodiment of stillness. It was nice. Sound all around it but its solitude was like a wall against the night’s noise. Sounds seemed to spill over it from the woods in the watershed basin behind it.

The pup and I began to transition from the fence line that separated the cemetery from the lawn that my kid and I snuck through. We heard gentil footsteps behind us on the other side of the fence. The steps sounded like they were walking on top of the dew saturated grass and walked right through the fence that separated the lawn from the cemetery. The grass didn’t move, but Nuggets ears were tall and probing the night like radar dishes that found an incoming craft. His pointed nose caught as much sense as my eyes.

With nothing there and the night becoming louder, we moved past the cemetery farther down Ringgold toward the bank, the old house, and the busier road. I did what I always do when confronted with nighttime creepies; I took a deep breath, chest out, shoulders square, I kept my senses alert, and I briskly walked to a place I had more control over. We moved down the way across the street toward a brightened area under a yellowed streetlight. The footsteps matched our pace and continued behind us. Nugget’s head was on a swivel but carried on with our walk without a pull.

Moving forward I’d lost track of the feeling of those steps behind me. We continued to walk until we got under the streetlight. I brought a joint with me. I lit it up, took a deep drag, and took a nice long look around. Nugget took a shit in a little bit grass on the further edge of the cast light from above. I bagged Nuggets business up for disposal and we made our way back home, down Park Road and back toward Oakwood Street.

Weird feeling man. As creepy as the experience was, when I no longer heard the steps, I immediately missed them. I longed for the anticipation I felt in my bones caused by that weird moment in an otherwise normal experience.  Existential realization momentarily manifested and disappeared with the footfalls of ghosts. Real or imagined but rawly felt, none the less. Night creepies can make a normal walk feel exciting. I bet New England is super creepy in the winter. I look forward to experiencing it someday.

Addendum.

My Mom and Aunt Mary came to stay with us. I told them about the Ringgold experience. My Aunt told me she “bet dollars to doughnuts” that the cemetery was part of an old church. Sure, enough I added new search parameters to my investigation, and it is the cemetery for a convent that has been recently sold and renovated into apartment housing. I should’ve remembered my history training instead of relying on google-fu.

Lessons:

Be bold, be brave, have a plan for escape.

Take your camera and use it. The pictures you take are yours and not copyrighted by someone else.

Trust your training (experience) and try to apply it where ever you can.

Links:

Article about the nunnery becoming apartments.

https://www.ctpublic.org/news/2023-10-25/hundreds-of-west-hartford-apartments-open-on-nunnery-grounds

The order of nuns who use to run the site. They seem like cool people, the Sisters of the Neighborhood, trying to help people where they are.

https://catholicarchives.ie/index.php/sisters-of-saint-joseph-chambery

Corner of Ringold and Park, go south on Ringgold to Tract 40 that is the cemetery. Don’t forget to use digitized public records.

On Melancholy by Hans Scholl

I wrote a paper for my MA on antifascist resistance to Nazi rule by German youth looking specifically at a group of young people called The White Rose. I came across this while reading Nazi resistor Hans Scholl journal, found in the collection of journal and letters from Hans and Sophie Scholl titled At the Heart of the White Rose, on page 252. I could not find a copy online, so I transcribed this entry from his journal here.

A monument to the White Rose in Munich. From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Rose
A monument to the White Rose in Munich. From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Rose

On Melancholy –

It isn’t melancholy that drives a man to suicide. By the time he’s ready to surrender by engaging in a last, monstrous act of self-destruction, melancholy has entirely deserted him, because melancholy was insufficient to restrain him. The melancholy man ceases to act altogether. He’s chained to the immense and unfathomable depth of his own soul by a hundred anchors, so to speak, and every tempest rages over him unnoticed. Melancholy is both things at once, the spiritual abyss and the anchors that keep him there – indeed, it could be said that the man himself is both, one being inseparable from the other. The more unfathomable the abyss, the more his melancholy weighs. And here we meet a paradox that instills fear and brings the average person out in a sweat: The man whose soul grows steadily calmer as the storm rises, until it finally attains an outward state of deathly repose, it is truly melancholy, truly great and On Melancholy continued: profound. His average, superficial counterpart merely drifts, tosses hither and thither, and his soul bobs on the surface like a rowboat on the waves.

But not every great man is capable of waiting so steadfastly, trusting in the immense force that holds him in place. Unwilling to return to the shallows, he aspires to penetrate his own depths and go farther. Violently, with an effort that passes all understanding, he smashes his soul and acts once more. When that happens, destruction and deliverance are near neighbors.

Russia alters its appearance just when you least expect it. It’s as peevish as a child and as capricious as an old maid.

In quest of a comparison, you find, after three grey, rainy, miserable days in the dim half-light of the dugout, that Russia most resembles an old man forever gazing wearily at the same corner of his death, waiting calmly and patiently for the end that must surely come. And then, contrary to all expectations, the wall of clouds, overhead parts and the dawn light peeps forth, fresh as a baby, and within a few hours the sky is blue all over. A gentle breeze stirs the birch trees. Like pearls, a thousand droplets glisten on the leaves once more and are promptly, heedlessly flung to the ground.

Letter to a Colleague – 2/4/24

I wrote this letter to a colleague during the latest election cycle. He was trying to promote that Trump was the correct pick for president. I disagreed with his assessment of the situation. Just a note, the question I asked at the end has still not been responded to, I have not heard from this human who I have deep respect for since I sent this to him. If he ever reads this, I still have mad respect for you, and it was an honor serving communities with you. One love homie.

2/4/24

Hey man, I hope this finds you well. If you ever want to talk long form debate and conversation about anything we can totally meet and talk but texting is not, nor has it ever been, an ideal form of communication for me for long form back and forth in-depth conversations. I am also always looking for a “pin pal” if you want to email and don’t want to meet. Anyway, Trump talk is especially frustrating for me on text because I have things going on and I have already decided that he is mega-piece of shit that I would never lower my moral standards by supporting in any of his grifts, especially that of supporting his presidency.

Anyway, I figured I would just address the things you messaged me and give my take for them.

While I agree that the American system is not at all ideal, destroying the delicate balance of compromise, negotiation, and law creation as society evolves with the support of a constitution is paramount in creating a just and free society. I don’t know if you were kidding or not about wanting to see it burn, I am guessing you are kidding, but it was telling that your initial lean was to imply to burn it all down. I see Trump as that burning agent, and I think most Trump supporters do as well, I don’t need to guess, I have heard y’all say it for years now. As we have seen from our own history, when imperialist billionaires take over the usual best check to that power is not an elitist billionaire, it is usually a mass movement of concerned and marginalized groups. Now usually an elitist rich dude who sees it as an opportunity to bolster a political career and jumps in, but it is the people’s push that slowly drives change.

You say Trump didn’t act as a dictator, but I see that patently wrong. Just because he was bad at taking dictator power, he most definitely acted like a dictator as his family and the ultra-rich were the biggest winners of his presidency, he treated all political opponents with violent rhetoric, and quite literally when he lost the election he tried to hold on to power and still won’t admit openly the legal transfer of power. Just because he was shitty at being a dictator doesn’t mean that he didn’t, doesn’t still, want all the power for him and his.

You said you can’t defend Trump’s personality, but his is a cult of personality you can’t have one without the other. That is the game HE created, and it is dishonest to say you prefer to debate his policy not his personality. I am voting for a human being and that human being has shown me time and time again he is a complete garbage of a human being. I would prefer the imperialists, which I detest, to stay in power longer than entrust our future to this human waste of energy. But you do you dog.

You say judge a man by his enemies, I mean I guess the entire strata of the executive branch is the bad guy now. Ok. Fair enough about the political parties. As for the media attack, he deserved every minute of it and he loved every second of media exposure, so ok. Let’s also not forget one of the largest of the mainstream sources, Fox licked his boots deeper than Bush’s.

I will agree that some of the things he did in office were beneficial, hell even necessary. To your point NAFTA was in dire need of being renegotiated. I am in the camp that the NAFTA renegotiation was political theater and didn’t change much, if anything at all. I was glad to hear about getting the US out of the TPP. I really liked some of his cabinet picks… until they resigned because of his policy decision and because the dude is a huge piece of shit.

You asked me specifics on what policies I disagree with, his tariff war was ridiculous and was bad for the U.S. Getting out of the Paris Accords was a huge mistake. His immigration policy was trash. His entire handling of the major crisis of his presidency was absurd and enough to not vote for this man. His pull out game in Iraq and Afghanistan hurt the US, and also abandoned the Kurds who had our back. Do you remember the fucking government shutdowns, he acted like a dictator to get his way to pay for that lame and ineffective wall. His policies drove good people out of government and many of them, like James Mattis who I respect, gave us very clear warnings of who this dude really is, as it turns out he is the piece of shit he plays on TV.

Need I remind you this dude is one of the Epstein fuck wads we’ve been looking for? He has been proven to be a fucking creep in court. I could go on, about him, policy and personality, but I really don’t want to and you have to know the truth, you are capable enough at honestly looking at both sides of an argument, but I feel like here you and millions of others are caught in some weird culty echo chamber where you are trying to convince yourselves he is the right choice. From my perspective he is not.

This man basically spent his presidency golfing, talking shit, and fucking over the country and millions of people including you just decided to buy wholly in to the cult think of Trump. It is weird. I wish you Trump people could wake up because the only person he is working for is himself and will con and grift anyone to get his way.

Let me ask you, what did Trump do while in office, what policies can you point to that you disagree with?

Speech to City Council of San Marcos 5/6/25

Hello, My name is Matthew Dobbs. I am an Army veteran; I am the fourth generation of Texan to serve my nation in times of international conflict. I am a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, teacher, dad, and husband. My family has been in Texas since the 1800s, for what that’s worth. I have been a resident of this lovely city twice now in my adult life, first in 2007 when I moved here because I heard the river was a peaceful place to heal and collect myself after I got out of the military. I moved away to Houston, when I met my future wife who was, is, Houstonian. We chose San Marcos after we sold our house in Houston after Hurricane Harvey. I love this town, I just completed my Masters degree at TXST, my wife and I had a house built here, we’ve been raising our son here.

I am here to have my voice heard and my name recorded that I stand with my city government as they navigate treacherous waters. Our state politics is full of people that have no desire to govern, just the inclination to rule. I’ve read the city of San Marcos resolution, updated May 2nd and I have read Greg Abbott’s threatening letter to this city. I cannot wait for the day where my fellow Texans are done with the lies of “small government” as the one party continues to rule us, as they make a mockery of the Republic.

I care about human beings. I care that people were murdered by Hamas terrorists on October 7, 2023. I care that the response of the Israeli government was to destroy the lives of men, women, and children for well over a year and a half now. I care that some people call Palestinians animals. I care that Democrats gave lip service to the bombing of homes, the killing of children, and didn’t attempt a thing while they wielded national executive power. I care that Republicans stand in support of the cleansing of Gaza of the Palestinian people.  I care that people laugh at President Trump’s AI mock up of what the rich and powerful would like to see Gaza become. I care when many pretend it doesn’t matter, then shrug when it is announced that Gaza is being stripped from the Palestinians. I dang well care that my city government is trying to do what it thinks is the right thing to do.

I am proud of y’all for even having this forum, I am proud of those who would stand for this resolution. **look around room** I am proud of the folks who came out here today.

I am really looking forward to the day where my fellow Texans embody the myth of what a Texan should be like. The myth of being a Texan tells us that we are independent, tough, and willing to do the hard things to get the dang job done. The myth of Texas tells us we aren’t willing to be pushed around by government men. The myth of Texas is that we are homesteaders who are trying their best to build a better world for us, our families, and our communities. The myth of the Texan is that we are willing to do the right thing, especially if it is the hard choice. The myth is that we are willing to stand up, be counted, and fight to keep what we care about safe from being exploited by the greedy thugs that want us to submit to their rule.

I hope we stop letting the greedy and those who expound the virtues of Jesus but continue to seed hate to control us through the politics of gangsterism. I care about the people of this city, I care about the people of this state, I care about people. I hope more cities and states take a cue from our, from the San Marcos city council and have government that stands for its people, not just its wealth generation capabilities and those who wish to profit from those capabilities. I care about people who care about We the People. I care, **look around the room** and I am glad to see so many other human beings who care, are here.

Thank you for your time, your effort, and I am grateful for each and everyone of y’alls service to this city. Protect the river and keep San Marcos beautiful, physically and mentally. This is a special place that many of us have held sacred for thousands of years and if we are decent stewards, thousands of years more. Thanks y’all.

Augustodunum

Augustodunum was founded by the Roman emperor Augustus to serve as the tribal capital of the Aedui people, France

I love looking at maps. I find myself entranced by them, human infrastructure, art, patterns, visual history, what’s not to love?

I was looking at one of Augustodunum and it made me think that the city its self must have been a significant investment in land, labor, capital, technology, ect.to make that town happen in roman times. A little Rome in a foreign land for a foreign people and a hand full of Roman entrepreneurs and authoritarians. The changes the city was part of and home to had and impact that lasted untold generations on that area and history.

I found myself staring at the walls that surrounded the town and wondered how dangerous it must have been to identify as or with the Romans in the area around the city, especially outside the walls or in the surrounding boonies. Kind of like the Baghdad Green Zone or our little fire bases that dot Afghanistan. It must be dangerous to work with what’s perceived as the empire out in the sticks where the empire only rules when it is physically present.

I wonder who will occupy the walls and the mounds of mud when we have left in all the places we occupy. I wonder what they will think of us, I wonder what history will say. Will we be spoken of like Rome in myth and power, rises and falls, wars and control or will those who come after have other things to whisper and different things to say about us? How will we be remembered, what will out legacy be?